(Source: dystopianboy, via sard0thien)

irelevant-elephant:

andrewpauldost:

what if u had an identical twin that did porn and u like went to the grocery and theyre like “omg i saw u take 3 dicks at once while wearing a turtle costume” and ur like “god dammit gary”

this literately happened in ‘friends’

(Source: grossr5)

staciastarburst:

direhuman:

kenfucky:

ordering pizza

I can imagine some golden apple shit going down at Domino’s that night, all the delivery boys arguing about who that’s supposed to be referring to and a huge fight breaking out.

That’s even better cause then you get a ruffed up cute delivery boy who you know is worthy and fought his way to deliver your pizza and prove himself a man

(via getting-to-know-myself)

kushandwizdom:

The good vibe

  • Europeans: I drove forty minutes to the Netherlands for some groceries and then I popped into Germany to see some of my relatives before driving back home.
  • Americans: I was in Florida, I drove for nine hours, now I'm still in Florida.
  • #australians: i drove for nine hours #now i'm nine hours away from home #no one is here #the streets are empty #how did this happen #where has civilisation gone #i am alone in the universe #oh wait no there's an echidna it's okay

bewbin:

bewbin:

Now that I’m an adult I have to make more serious posts

Briefcase

(via getting-to-know-myself)

quotelounge:

Quote Lounge

(Source: uptopmrpres, via heyfunniest)